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You’ve gotten a tiny bit worried about how much you’ve been GOONING lately. How many hours out of each day you spend with your fist wrapped around your pounding cock, eyes rolling back, jerking yourself into heavenly gooner bliss. I know this compulsion can be intense, so let’s talk about it. Gooning is taking up more time in your day and more space in your gooner psyche. Your brain is being gradually displaced by your pump add!ction. You’re concerned that your gooning may have adverse impacts on the rest of your life. Well, the only way to find out how deep your gooning add!ction is… is through a professional gooner evaluation. After all, we can’t solve the problem until we understand it, right? You’ve come to the right place. Take your cock out for me – it’s time to begin your GOONER evaluation.
Date: June 28, 2026
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