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- Alissa Ryan – Goon Counseling The 7 Stages Of Acceptance- One Month Checkup

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Welcome back goon patient. I’m so thrilled to see you here on your own accord. The first seven sessions were different, they were a mandatory program you had been enrolled in but your presence at our monthly check ins are all up to you. Seeing you back in this seat puts a smile on my face, it tells me that you realize you’re going to be a patient of mine for the rest of your life. I tell you this is all up to you, but you know I’ve taken complete control of your mind. Without me guiding you along the right track, you know you’ll slip up and turn back to your old ways. It won’t just be a slip up. You’ll completely goon the fuck out, you won’t know what day or time it is and you’ll wake up cock in hand a leaking mess in a path of goon destruction and end up right back where you started. You need me. I make you the best goonaholic you could ever aspire to be. Counsellor Alissa has become the centre of your universe. I hold all the cards to make or break your little gooner mind. You know this. Welcome back my pet, come on inside.

Date: May 15, 2026