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Another year, another pathetic little loser crawling back to me. Did you really think this would be different? That you would be different? That maybe this time, you’d save your money, regain control, and actually get your life together? Adorable. But you know that’s impossible. Because I’m still here. I still own you. And this year, I’m going to take more than I ever have before.
Date: April 23, 2026
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